#3 – Peacemakers Gently Restore
Matthew 18:15-17 – Victory Fellowship
December 14, 2025 - Rev. Roderick Grabski
Third Sunday of Advent
I. Introduction: (Review)
a. Jesus – the Prince of Peace
i. He calls us to be Peacemakers as well.
b. (Ken Sande) Peacemakers 4-G Network for Conflict Resolution:
Glorify God: How can I please and honor God in this situation?
Get the Log out of Your Own Eye: How can I show Jesus’ work in me by taking responsibility for my contribution to this conflict?
Gently Restore: How can I lovingly serve others by helping them take responsibility for their contribution to this conflict?
Go and Be Reconciled: How can I demonstrate the forgiveness of God and encourage a reasonable solution to this conflict?
c. This 3rd Sunday of Advent we will focus on #3: Gently Restore: How can I lovingly serve others by helping them take responsibility for their contribution to this conflict?
II. RELATING THE TEXT:
a. In many cases we should try to overlook the offense against us if we can do so without carrying baggage with it. (explain)
b. However there are times when it will be necessary to gently restore someone who has sinned against us or others. These times include when NOT confronting them would…
i. lead to continued and prolonged alienation
ii. encourage their hurtful / sinful actions
iii. allow their sin to dishonor God, hurt themselves and others, and/or damage your relationship with them.
c. In Matthew 18, Jesus not only gives a process to begin gently restoring, but an admonition that we are to do it - and He will be with all involved in the process. (where two or three are gathered…)
d. This is what the Lord commanded:
i. go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.
ii. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses.
iii. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church.
iv. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.
e. Scripture elsewhere calls Christians to gently restore believers mired in sin.
i. Proverbs 24:11-1; 27:5-6; 29:1
24:11 Deliver those who are being taken away to death, And those who are staggering to slaughter, O hold [them] back.
27:5-6 5 Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.
29:1 A man who hardens [his] neck after much reproof Will suddenly be broken beyond remedy.
ii. Galatians 6:1; James 5:19-20
GALATIANS 6:1-2 Brethren, even if a man is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; [each one] looking to yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ.
JAMES 5:19-20 My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth, and one turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death, and will cover a multitude of sins.
III. APPLICATION:
a. When we feel God leading us to gently restore someone we do so by FIRST getting the log out of our own eye and SECOND by having the goal of not judging, but healing our relationship with them.
i. Proverbs 12:18 There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing.
b. Gently restoring someone means more than just confronting them. It includes confessing our own struggles to them, teaching them, encouraging, reasoning with them, even warning them of the consequences of their behavior.
c. We should avoid two extremes in regard to confronting others about sin:
i. The 1st is that we should not eagerly look for opportunities to point out the sin in others.
1. In fact, if you would prefer not to talk to others about their sin but have a burden to love others and be obedient to God - then you are the best person to confront others.
2. 2 CORINTHIANS 2:4 For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you with many tears; not that you should be made sorrowful, but that you might know the love which I have especially for you.
ii. The 2nd extreme to avoid is not wanting to confront another’s sin at all under the guise of “judge not lest ye be judged.” (James 4:17) Therefore, to one who knows [the] right thing to do, and does not do it, to him it is sin.
d. Christian mediator, Ron Kraybill, says “effective confrontation is like a graceful dance from supportiveness to assertiveness and back again.”
e. Though it may feel awkward, we “speak the truth in Love” with the goal of helping, not condemning, the other person and preserving the relationship.
IV. CONCLUSION:
a. Cancer patient analogy
War vs. Peace Metaphors
• War Metaphor (Fighter/Warrior): Views cancer as an enemy to be fought, often using terms like "battle," "fight," and "defeat," which can empower some but also lead to guilt if they feel they aren't fighting hard enough.
• Peace Metaphor (Peacemaker/Acceptance): Focuses on inner peace, accepting the diagnosis, finding tranquility, and a sense of inner calm.
Key Aspects of the "Peacemaker" Approach
• Acceptance: Acknowledging the reality of the illness without it defining one's entire existence, notes this study.
• Inner Harmony: Cultivating a calm, peaceful state amidst the turmoil, similar to finding strength in vulnerability rather than aggression.
• Living Fully: Shifting focus from "fighting" to "living" more fully, appreciating simple joys, and strengthening relationships.
• Gentler Language: Preferring terms like "we're going to manage this" or "we'll work through this together," rather than "we'll beat this, or “we’ll fight this,” which acknowledges shared effort and reduces patient blame.
PRAYER
SONG: I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day
Matthew 18:15-17 NLT 15 “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. 16 But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. 17 If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.
